Re: Our Little Recap 1

**Ikuar** Sun Feb 20, 2011 9:09 pm

"Yeah, I always do and it's always the same thing." I kissed her temple and wrapped my arm around her shoulder. I'd drive us down to the big park, the one with all the lights. After getting there we picked a direction and headed down the path.

**Jayrin** Sun Feb 20, 2011 9:23 pm

"Is it good?" I asked with a small smile. "I found a recipe online and tried to make it taste good..."

**Ikuar** Sun Feb 20, 2011 9:26 pm

"It's delicious." I said as I was finishing it off. I rubbed her arm a little bit since I could feel that her skin was a little cold, I hadn't thought to bring jackets.

"I spoiled today a little for myself..." I admitted sadly.

**Jayrin** Sun Feb 20, 2011 9:36 pm

"Oh really? How?" I asked curiously, even though I already suspected the reason.

**Ikuar** Sun Feb 20, 2011 9:38 pm

I sighed, "It's such a long story, Katie... he reminded me of all my flaws and why I didn't deserve to be born... why he wished I'd died instead of Mom..." I'd never told her about Mom.

**Jayrin** Sun Feb 20, 2011 9:39 pm

I frowned. It hurt. I rarely frowned. "What are you talking about?"

**Ikuar** Sun Feb 20, 2011 9:47 pm

"Are you prepared to hear a long story or should I save it for another day?" I asked as I grabbed her hand and squeezed gently.

**Jayrin** Sun Feb 20, 2011 9:50 pm

"I asked you what you were talking about, didn't I?" I said softly, squeezing his hand in return.

**Ikuar** Sun Feb 20, 2011 9:56 pm

I sighed, "Alright... it started back when I was six..."

"Zachary!"

I looked up, Mom was calling. Her cheeks were red and her eyes were too as they always seemed to be. I could already see the dried tears on her cheeks and the disapproval in her gaze.

"Why aren't you wearing your gloves? It's too cold out here..."

I'd made her sad again, I hated disappointing Mom and every time I did I was try my best to make it up to her like making dinner or doing other chores around the house just for her.

"Quit calling Zack a mistake! He's not a mistake, he's a gift and you should-"

"You knew I never wanted children!"

"Get over yourself! He's a smart boy, he'll make you proud!"

I was a mistake. Dad didn't really start abusing my physically until I was nine when he thought I was 'tough enough' to handle his 'love'. For a while he would only do it when Mom wasn't home and every time she came in I would have to lie and tell her I got into a fight at school or that I fell.

Mom wasn't stupid though.

**Jayrin** Sun Feb 20, 2011 9:59 pm

I held his hand tight and listened carefully. "Your mom sounds really sweet."

**Ikuar** Sun Feb 20, 2011 10:19 pm

"She was... she was the best..." I took a deep breath and then continued.

I remembered taking a walk in the same park one day with my mom, it was summer and the lights were just as beautiful as they are now. She squeezed my hand and I could see the tears welling in her eyes. She'd never been strong enough to not cry in front of me, I knew her pain very well.

"Zacky..." She got down in front of me and rubbed her thumb against my jaw. "You're my little angel, you know that?"

I nodded with a weak smile.

"Good... you have to be strong okay? We can be strong together... because we need each other and we can make it." She gave me a kiss and then wiped a stray tear away from my eye. "We're going to run away..."

"Where...?"

"Where it's safe." She stood up and squeezed my hand. The look in her eyes wasn't very reassuring though, she looked afraid and we both had reason to be. Two days later they were yelling again and it was because Mom caught dad hitting me. The threats were loud and terrifying and I somehow knew that if Mom wasn't stalling it, I would already be dead. Two hours it went on and finally it came to a head. Dad had his gun out and aimed it at me.

"Don't you dare!" Mom shouted, "Don't you even think about it!"

"I will!"

"Don't!" She snapped, "I'll leave if you kill him and-"

I heard the click, he was going to shoot me. "Don't!"

He pulled the trigger and everything moved into slow motion so abruptly that I didn't even see Mom jump in front of it. The room went silent and Mom was laying in front of me gasping. She reached for me, her hands were red and I'll never forget the look on her face; the tears in her eyes and the sheer fear and pain she experienced.

"No..." She cried, moving close to me, she took my hand, hers were cold and shaky. "Zack-...Z..." She stuttered, "L..." She put her middle finger and her ring finger down, leaving her pinky, index and thumb up, pressing them into my palm.

I love you... She was saying she loved me.

"Mom?" I gasped, "Mom?!"

Her hand went limp, she was gone and I was left with Dad who was staring down in shock and I could see the anger burning on his face. He dropped the gun on the floor and then reached for me but I moved away.

"This is all your fault!" He shouted. "You killed her!"

I stopped walking and sat down. I couldn't move.

**Jayrin** Sun Feb 20, 2011 10:35 pm

I gasped and stared at him. "What...?" I shook my head. "Why is this so easy to believe...? It shouldn't be."

**Ikuar** Sun Feb 20, 2011 10:36 pm

"I know..." I sighed a little and looked up at the sky, "No one believes it because... I was in shock for years, I couldn't stop looking at my hands and I couldn't sleep at night." I looked at her, "He's still blaming me..."

**Jayrin** Sun Feb 20, 2011 10:39 pm

"That doesn't surprise me..." I said softly. "It should... but it doesn't. It doesn't surprise me at all." I looked up at him and kissed his chest. "But it wasn't your fault. You do know that right?"

**Ikuar** Sun Feb 20, 2011 10:41 pm

I was silent to that question, growing up really hadn't erased guilt that if I'd not been there then Mom wouldn't have had a reason to jump in front of a bullet.

"I know it's not my fault..." I sighed, "this will just... never be reconciled."

**Jayrin** Sun Feb 20, 2011 10:51 pm

"As long as you forgive him and yourself, you'll be happy." I said, hugging him suddenly. "Well, maybe not immediately, but eventually, everything will be great! We'll- uh... well, we'll have lots of fun hanging with Ian and everyone! We have a lot of years to look forward to!!"

**Ikuar** Sun Feb 20, 2011 10:58 pm

She was so optimistic.

"You are my sunshine..." I picked her up and spun her around for a moment, "Do you want to go out to eat?"

**Jayrin** Sun Feb 20, 2011 11:00 pm

"Hehe! It's still your birthday! We can go wherever you want to!" I kissed his chin with a happy grin. Not even Ian had ever made as happy as Zack. I couldn't imagine life without either of them though.

**Ikuar** Sun Feb 20, 2011 11:06 pm

"Alright, how about we go and get some sandwiches then..." I said as we walked off. I felt all my anxieties walk away when I looked into her happy eyes.

**Jayrin** Sun Feb 20, 2011 11:07 pm

"Mm... sandwiches from where?" I sighed, still holding tight to him.

**Ikuar** Sun Feb 20, 2011 11:08 pm

"From my favorite family owned sandwich shop..." I grinned as we headed down the street. We were soon at Zeph's. It was the place where Momma Rey and Dad had their first date.

**Jayrin** Sun Feb 20, 2011 11:12 pm

"Ohhh!!!! I love that place!!!" I bounced a little. "I can't wait until we get there! I want that chicken salad sandwich made by Dia Anna!" I sighed happily again. "There's no better chicken salad than that." <3

**Ikuar** Sun Feb 20, 2011 11:15 pm

"Oh yes, that's amazing!" I felt like my mouth was watering as we approached the building. I held the door open for her so she could go inside first.

**Jayrin** Sun Feb 20, 2011 11:18 pm

I bounced happily inside and they seated us at a little table in a corner by the windows. "Oh... it's warm right here..." I said, basking happily in the fading rays of sunshine. "But not for long... the sun is setting."

**Ikuar** Sun Feb 20, 2011 11:19 pm

"I'm here..." I wrapped an arm around her and rubbed against her skin again, "I'll warm you up." We soon ordered our food, she got her chicken salad sandwich and I got the same thing with different cheese.

Sponsored content