Re: To Whom It May Concern

**Jayrin** Mon Mar 22, 2010 12:40 pm

"I'd love it!" I grinned my odd grin. "And I can't wait to be the one to tell her I helped change her diapers when she was little after she grows up! I volunteer to keep her if you and your husband have to go off or need dates!" Besides, Matt and I couldn't have a kid. We had just agreed it wasn't a good idea.

**Ikuar** Mon Mar 22, 2010 12:44 pm

Kay giggled and blushed, "Aw! That will be so amazing! It's going to be so much fun! Except Ben isn't looking forward to not being able to sleep at night. But we'll get past that!"

The more I listened about this baby stuff the more I wanted to give it a try. But I also wanted to give it time too..

**Jayrin** Mon Mar 22, 2010 2:12 pm

"Oh definitely! Sounds great!!" I laughed. I smiled at Matt, he was being really quiet. "You okay?"

**Ikuar** Mon Mar 22, 2010 2:38 pm

"I'm fine, I'm just thinking that's all." I gave her hand a gentle squeeze and then listened as Kay started to talk again.

**Jayrin** Mon Mar 22, 2010 2:43 pm

I smiled. "Well, okay then..."

**Ikuar** Mon Mar 22, 2010 3:00 pm

-Two Years Later-

-*Kay*-

I was having some lunch with Rae after finding some time to break away from being a mom, which wasn't very easy especially with a hyperactive two year old that sucked every source of energy I had. I yawned a little bit and picked up the mug of coffee on the table.

"Soo, how are things going with you and Matthew?" I ventured, still pretty tired.

**Jayrin** Mon Mar 22, 2010 3:03 pm

I turned a deep red and looked around carefully before moving my chair closer to her. "Umm... last night was our first..." I whispered, before taking a sip of my coffee.

**Ikuar** Mon Mar 22, 2010 3:05 pm

I leaned forward with renewed interest and raised my eyebrows, "Your first first or...? Are you serious? You've never done it before?" I couldn't believe my ears!

"How was it?!"

**Jayrin** Mon Mar 22, 2010 3:09 pm

I think I actually got redder. "Amazing... if I knew it'd be so wonderful... I don't think I'd have been okay with waiting so long..." I replied in a low voice. It was almost embarrassing.

**Ikuar** Mon Mar 22, 2010 3:16 pm

"I'm still in shock that you guys haven't even done it before last night. That's insanity! But I give you a thumbs up for holding back, that's something Ben and I never did, but we waited until we were married but as soon as we were that was it." I sighed, "And it still took us a year or more before we had Jenna." I took a gulp of my coffee, "That's really something."

**Jayrin** Mon Mar 22, 2010 3:20 pm

I nodded. "Kay, I really want a kid. Really, really badly. But I'm not sure if Matt deems himself ready yet."

**Ikuar** Mon Mar 22, 2010 3:26 pm

"Have you talked to him about planning to have a baby? Your schedules are really dying down and mostly you guys just record the CD's and stuff. It's just a good time. Ben and I planned for Jenna and she was worth waiting for." I told her with a soft smile, "You shouldn't be afraid to approach him about it."

**Jayrin** Mon Mar 22, 2010 3:28 pm

"Yeah, I guess not... he just doesn't know I didn't want to wait in the first place... I don't want to put him on the spot by asking him..." But asking was the only way to ever know for sure.

**Ikuar** Mon Mar 22, 2010 3:31 pm

"I'm sure you wouldn't be putting him on the spot! He handles stuff a lot different so I think he would be ready to talk about it. I could be wrong. But... I know that you do want a baby. I'll be praying for you guys." I told her.

**Jayrin** Mon Mar 22, 2010 3:33 pm

"Thank you so much!" I replied with a grin; both blue and green eyes sparkling happily. "I'll ask him when I get the chance..."

**Ikuar** Mon Mar 22, 2010 3:35 pm

"Good! I'll be waiting for the day you bring good news! Mm, there comes our lunch!" I was so hungry, I couldn't wait to just dig in!

**Jayrin** Mon Mar 22, 2010 3:39 pm

-A month or so later-

I sighed as I gathered myself outside the recording studio where Matt was. I was shaking like a leaf. I had called him and asked him to come out when he had a chance so I could talk to him about something.

My heart beat rapidly. I was really, really nervous that he wouldn't feel ready.

**Ikuar** Mon Mar 22, 2010 3:46 pm

"I'll be back later, Dan!" I called as the door closed behind me. I looked ahead and saw Rae, smiling as I walked towards her.

"Hey, do you want to go somewhere warmer than this?" I asked, hugging her and noticing that she was shaking a little. "Are you okay? Was there something you needed to talk about?"

**Jayrin** Mon Mar 22, 2010 3:54 pm

I nodded. "U-Um... I... uh..." I gulped and decided that I'd just blurt out my question... so I did. "Do you want kids?"

**Ikuar** Mon Mar 22, 2010 3:55 pm

I was really quiet for a minute and then I smiled, "It's not a bad idea but it's just... I really..." There wasn't an excuse why we couldn't try for a baby. Everything had really calmed down and... I think I was generally terrified.

"We can try for a baby, if that's what you want." I kissed her forehead.

**Jayrin** Mon Mar 22, 2010 3:58 pm

I shook my head quickly. "Th-that's just it... we uh... we don't need to try..." I replied, staring at the ground.

**Ikuar** Mon Mar 22, 2010 4:00 pm

"But I just said we could. You're acting like like I'm saying maybe and you're acting really nervous about this. You don't have to be like that. We can try. We don't have to but we will, okay?" I was worried, she was acting so strange.

**Jayrin** Mon Mar 22, 2010 4:05 pm

"I shook my head again. "No... we don't have to." I said again, absentmindedly placing my hand on my stomach. I had been doing that since I found out. "Because... be-because..."

I gulped. Apparently it was hard for a lot of women to tell their husbands. Why was it so hard?

"I-I'm already pr-pr..." I sighed shakily. "Pregnant."

**Ikuar** Mon Mar 22, 2010 4:08 pm

The silence appeared again like a tiger ready to strike, unknowingly of course. I was trying to think of something to say. I just couldn't seem to find any words that would describe what I was feeling.

"I'm so sorry." I immediately wrapped her in a hug, "You shouldn't have been scared to tell me."

**Jayrin** Mon Mar 22, 2010 4:11 pm

I hugged him back and started crying, so relieved that he didn't freak out. "I know... but I was..." I whined, almost incoherently. "I'm just really stupid I guess..."

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