Re: To Whom It May Concern

**Jayrin** Tue Mar 16, 2010 10:27 pm

"B-But... you really think so?" I asked, looked up at him like a hopeful little girl. "You really think I can sing in front of hundreds of people?"

**Ikuar** Tue Mar 16, 2010 10:33 pm

"I certainly do. My first concert consisted of three songs and a long rant about how I got the mustard stain on my pants that night." My face went red.

"And the crowd loved it." Dan finished.

**Jayrin** Tue Mar 16, 2010 10:43 pm

I laughed at that. I had to! "I would have loved it too! I wish I was there..." My voice kind of trailed off at the end and I stared down at my black mesh-covered feet. My skates were by another chair.

My feet were little. A size six and a half or seven... depending on the shoe.

**Ikuar** Tue Mar 16, 2010 10:57 pm

It took a few months but we did it. We got her into a recording studio to make a few CD samplers. I was going to be there. It was raining and I was probably the only guy on the road who wasn't speeding. It was so hard to see past the rain too.

-*-

"You did well today, Rae!" I was her new manager, Kay Rennolds. I was so excited to be in this position! We were both really starting but I'd managed other things before singers.
"You should probably stick around, it's pouring rain."

**Jayrin** Tue Mar 16, 2010 11:00 pm

I frowned and stared out the window. I didn't particularly care how well I did. Matt was supposed to be there for the first recording and he wasn't. "He should have been here hours ago... where is he?" I asked aloud, mostly to myself.

Finishing that first song with no Matt there to give me any pointers or encouragement was a little disappointing.

Stop fooling yourself, Rae. It was very disappointing.

**Ikuar** Tue Mar 16, 2010 11:08 pm

"Woo..." I heard Devon say as he was watching the news, "That's some car accident."

I walked over, heels clicking on the wooden floor, "Turn it up for a second."

The woman on the screen was describing a big car accident about a mile away.

"The semi driver says he lost control of his vehicle on the slick roads when he hit a white sedan. The man is identified to be Matthew Drake. A popular Christian rock singer. We haven't been updated on his condition yet. More on that after these messages."

**Jayrin** Tue Mar 16, 2010 11:14 pm

I turned around slowly, certain my joints were making the noises of frozen hydraulics. I moved slow as every word the reporter said echoed through my mind. But mainly, the name.

"Uhm..." I began shakily. "H-How... No. It can't be him..." But there was nothing against him being the Matt I knew. Besides, they already knew he was a popular Christian rock artist...

**Ikuar** Tue Mar 16, 2010 11:17 pm

I looked back at Rae. She was pale beyond words and I knew right then that I had to do something.

"Wrap things up here." I wrapped an arm around her, "I'll take you to the hospital, maybe we can find out his condition."

I hoped I was doing the right thing.

**Jayrin** Wed Mar 17, 2010 8:56 am

I nodded slowly and almost automatically, like my body knew what to do on it's own.

I should have known. Matt always comes when he says he'll be there. He never had failed me before this. So... why was I so quick to assume he forgot? Man. I'm an idiot.

Tears came, but I barely even noticed. They rolled quickly down my cheeks but not even sob came out of my mouth. Was this really happening?

**Ikuar** Wed Mar 17, 2010 9:47 am

I led her out in the rain and helped her into my car. My heart was pounding because I knew how much she cared about Matt. He pulled her out of things without even trying. I looked at the radio switch in my car and debated about turning it on.

But I didn't want Rae to hear it if it was the news on. It would likely be everywhere.

**Jayrin** Wed Mar 17, 2010 9:59 am

I stared blankly out the windshield, blinking once or twice. I wanted so badly to speak, but I had nothing to talk about. I kept repeating to myself, over and over; "He's okay. He's okay. He's okay."

But it didn't seem to calm my mind at all. I closed my eyes and tilted my head down. And against everything I knew to be logical... I prayed. I actually prayed.

I had gotten in heated discussions with Matt over Christianity and religion many times... but he never did get angry with me. Or... at least didn't show it.

But the creepy thing, was that no matter how much I tried to disprove his religion, everything I found actually went towards proving it.

God... I don't really know if you're real or not... but Matt believes you are. Please... please protect him.

**Ikuar** Wed Mar 17, 2010 10:15 am

The hospital was in sight but I wasn't sure if he was there yet or not. I would ask for Rae since she appeared to still be in shock.

"Hi, I was wondering if Matthew Drake has been admitted yet?"

The receptionist was looking at a list on the computer and nodded, "Yeah, he's still in the ER though. You'll have to wait if you want to know his condition. I'm sorry."

This was going to be a long day. I knew it already.

**Jayrin** Wed Mar 17, 2010 10:19 am

I was sitting on one of the benches in the waiting room.

Why? Why him? I desperately hoped beyond hope that he was okay.

**Ikuar** Wed Mar 17, 2010 10:47 am

I glanced back and saw Matthew's manager run in. But what about family? I couldn't help but think it was a little strange that no one new was coming in.

"Dan!" I called.

He glanced over, sounding like he was out of breath, "Hi Kay. Anything yet?"

"Not yet but probably soon. Try not to say anything to Rae right now. She's in shock."

**Jayrin** Wed Mar 17, 2010 10:50 am

I slowly craned my neck around to look at him. I could only imagine what I looked like. Probably like death walking or something.

**Ikuar** Wed Mar 17, 2010 10:54 am

Soon a doctor came to talk to us. I wasn't sure if Rae was prepared to hear what he was saying but somehow I figured.

"They got him here in the nick of time. His skull is fractured and he has a punctured lung. His spine isn't in good shape but we put rods in to keep it from getting worse. He's having some trouble breathing on his own right now. I'd say he's pretty lucky. No paralysis that we can see right now."

One of my questions was 'is he awake?'.

All they said was that they'd be shocked if he was. I was a little bit nervous to let Rae go see him... but she would have to eventually. I couldn't keep her blindfolded forever - no matter how badly I wanted to.

**Jayrin** Wed Mar 17, 2010 10:57 am

I stared at the doctor for a very long time, fighting with myself in my mind.

"Can I see him?" I asked softly, voice trembling when I spoke.

**Ikuar** Wed Mar 17, 2010 11:00 am

I watched him nod, "Follow me."

They disappeared from sight and then I sat down next to Dan and prayed that she could handle what she was about to see - I had a feeling he didn't look good because none of it sounded good.

-*-

Even sleeping it hurt. It all hurt and I couldn't seem to pretend like it didn't. I wasn't sure how long I'd been out cold. I only remembered lights and metal against metal. Just thinking of what I heard was making me feel like my head could explode. My ears were ringing.

Pain killers. I wanted them really bad. I wasn't even sure if I was fully awake yet or if I was dreaming. The pain was very real.

**Jayrin** Wed Mar 17, 2010 11:04 am

I stepped through the doorway, like a little girl who'd just seen something she shouldn't have. "M-Matt?"

**Ikuar** Wed Mar 17, 2010 11:07 am

I finally managed to open my eyes when I heard my name. I reached up shakily and covered them. The light was too bright - my head was throbbing. Everything seemed louder than it should have been - the monitors were blaring. It was making me crazy.

I had to answer her but I couldn't seem to make words form. My mouth moved but no words came.

**Jayrin** Wed Mar 17, 2010 11:11 am

I stayed where I was. I wanted to move closer to him... but I couldn't. I wanted to ask how he was feeling, but that would be a stupid question.

"I- uh..." I dropped my eyes to the floor. "I-I finished my recording... the CD is waiting for you to listen to... everyone says it''s really good... but you're the only one I trust." I said softly.

**Ikuar** Wed Mar 17, 2010 11:14 am

I heard her. I knew it was her. I moved my hand and glanced at her out of the corner of my eye. I couldn't move my neck.

God help me. I prayed. My hands shakily covered my eyes again. Could I speak? I moved my mouth but something that didn't sound like me came.

"That's great." My voice sounded horrible, mostly a breathy whisper. I wasn't even sure if I should be talking or not.

**Jayrin** Wed Mar 17, 2010 11:19 am

I took a few steps toward him. "Um... is there a-anything I can do for you?" I felt so stupid and useless, just standing there. I knew he had to be in a lot of pain.

**Ikuar** Wed Mar 17, 2010 11:22 am

I moved my hands again but it really hurt to even look at the light. I couldn't keep them open.

"No. It's okay, you don't have to do anything." She sounded worried and uncertain and I didn't want her to feel that way. I reached over and squeezed her hand reassuringly. I managed to look her in the eyes and gave her a weak smile, "I'm sorry I wasn't there."

**Jayrin** Wed Mar 17, 2010 11:28 am

I smiled. "It's okay!" My heart ripped apart though. How could he still even think about the fact that he missed it? He was in a car accident... that should have been the last thing on his mind. "I'll sing the songs for you again sometime... okay?" I tried to act happy... I don't know if I succeeded or not.

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