Re: Surviving

**Jayrin** Tue Oct 14, 2014 2:19 pm

"Mmm..." Michael touched her green nose, and sighed as he thought of what he might like. "I can't really decide. Have you had any cravings? You know I always love what you cook." He hadn't really ever been a foodie, but since they married and Abby had begun cooking for him regularly, she had made him into one. He hadn't encountered anything she made that he didn't enjoy. "Just make whatever you feel up to the task of cooking. I don't want you to overwork yourself."

**Ikuar** Tue Oct 14, 2014 2:36 pm

"Alright, sounds good! Let me take off this mask and then I'll make dinner." Abby giggled when he poked her nose, then rushed off to the bathroom to wash her face. Once she was done, she appeared very rosy in color, though her skin looked irritated. "I guess it pinched a little, I'm fine!" She called, turning to go into her big kitchen. Things were still in the process of being unpacked, so she searched for one of her bigger pots to make some spaghetti and meatballs.

Abby worked at rolling out the meatballs, but just looking at them was making her feel nauseous all over again. She put the meat down and ended up rushing to the bathroom to throw up. When it was over, she found Michael back in the kitchen, "Can you work on those? I can't look at them." She instead went to boiling water for the spaghetti.

**Jayrin** Tue Oct 14, 2014 4:19 pm

Michael nodded slowly, taking the ground beef and rolling it into little balls. "Is it just the smell, or the idea of the meatballs? Should we even go through with this dinner choice?" He asked, trying to not worry over her as much as he had the tendency to do. He placed his meatballs beside hers, frowning when he realized he'd made them too big. I didn't realize my hands were that much bigger...

**Ikuar** Tue Oct 14, 2014 4:23 pm

"It's... the feeling of the meat between my hands! It's like smushing brains together and the sound it makes when it smushes is so gross... just talking about it makes me want to throw up again." Abby stirred the noodles into the pot and groaned, "I'm nearly six months pregnant and I still want to puke my brains out at the drop of a hat! Pregnancy is so beautiful, they said, you'll love being pregnant, they said!" She grumbled to herself.

"There is nothing beautiful about a girl who has her head over the toilet all day just from touching hamburger meat!"

Rage. That was a good way to describe Abby right about then.

**Jayrin** Tue Oct 14, 2014 4:29 pm

Michael couldn't help but snicker at her mini-rant. He glanced towards the stove, watching her angrily stir the pot of noodles. No matter what she did, or how she did it, he always found himself captivated by her. Now she had this big baby-belly, and her cheeks were a little more round, making the scene before him so much more adorable. He pulled his phone out and snapped a quick picture of her, then quickly shoved it back in his pocket. "I think you're beautiful no matter what you're doing, my Darling." He flashed a grin her way, knowing that his line was cheesy.

**Ikuar** Tue Oct 14, 2014 4:33 pm

Abby stopped what she was doing and turned around, "Ahh, really?" She gasped, "That's so sweet of you, my love! Even with this fluff I've turned into, you still think I'm pretty! Yay!" She squeaked a little and then turned back to her noodles, tossing a little bit of salt into the pot. "I promise tomorrow to put some effort into my appearance! I will surprise you when you come home from work!"

**Jayrin** Tue Oct 14, 2014 4:39 pm

Michael chuckled, nodding a bit. "Mm, I'm sure you'll look absolutely gorgeous, my sweet." He caught her eyes, then gave her a wink. "I do love to see you sparkle when you're all dressed up, but I still find you to be just as charmingly beautiful when you're wearing tights with one of my t-shirts." He paused a moment to think before continuing. "Actually, scratch that... the t-shirt thing is actually a bit of a turn-on for me. You're welcome to any of my shirts from now on... even though you weren't unwelcome to them earlier."

**Ikuar** Tue Oct 14, 2014 7:25 pm

"Thanks, sometimes the clothes I wear aren't always comfortable all day long, and this is super comfy!" Abby was blushing at his comments, sometimes still uncertain of how to take them. She had been scared slightly when they first married, but he was sweet and always gentle with her no matter what.

After dinner was finished cooking and they had eaten, she found herself curled up on the couch with a box of saltines and a large glass of ginger ale to sip on. "Do you like Lauren for a name?" She asked, "Or Olivia?"

**Jayrin** Tue Oct 14, 2014 7:35 pm

"Hm... I like the feel of Olivia Reid, rather than Lauren Reid." Michael relaxed on the couch, propping his feet up on the coffee table in front of him. "If it's a boy... how about..." He thought a moment. "Jacob?"

**Ikuar** Tue Oct 14, 2014 8:25 pm

"I really like that, it sounds cute! I also like Matthew or Markus." She replied, leaning her head against his chest. The TV had been on the whole time, but to Abby it sounded like white noise. She was focused completely on her husband.

"Maybe Markus Jacob... or Jacob Markus Reid?" She asked.

**Jayrin** Tue Oct 14, 2014 8:37 pm

"Oh, I like that last one." He grinned, moving to run his hands through her hair. "Olivia needs a middle name too, though. How about... Olivia Abby Reid?" He moved one hand from her hair to her cheek, extending his thumb to trace the outline of her lips before giving her a gentle kiss.

**Ikuar** Tue Oct 14, 2014 8:43 pm

"You know my whole name is Abigail, right?" She giggled, "I guess we can just ignore that completely and use Abby... I'm honored." She returned his kisses, closing her eyes and reaching up to touch his cheek. "Who knew discussing names could be so romantic?" She giggled.
"What about Jacob Michael? It has to be fair."

**Jayrin** Tue Oct 14, 2014 8:51 pm

"Well, if we use Olivia Abby and it has to be fair... then that would mean Jacob Mike, and that sounds a little odd." He chuckled, wrapping her up in his arms. "So let's go with Olivia Abigail... just to make things totally fair all around." He placed his hand over hers which touched his cheek, turning a bit to kiss her palm. "Anything can be romantic if you give it the chance."

**Ikuar** Tue Oct 14, 2014 9:17 pm

A few months later Abby discovered something really strange. In the middle of her eighth month her bras were being soaked. It was early in the morning when she woke up and noticed that Michael had already left for work. She sat up in bed slowly and bit her lip when she felt a strange pain that she didn't recognize. She'd had cramps before, the doctor told her it was normal sometimes, but this was different. When her first worry was showing up, it had been the night before and her alarm bells weren't really going off, she didn't know to be alarmed. Everything looked normal at her last appointment.

Abby staggered out of her room and cringed when the pain escalated, it hurt so bad. She found her phone and picked it up, hoping that Michael would answer. She sighed in relief a little when he did.

"H-Hey..." She breathed, "My stomach hurts really bad... like really, really bad." She said, her voice shaking. "What should I do? I... I can't think straight, I'm scared."

**Jayrin** Tue Oct 14, 2014 9:23 pm

"Just... try and get comfortable as best you can. I'll come and pick you up, alright?" Michael dropped the chart he was holding onto his desk, and made his way to the nursing station while still on the phone with Abby. He made a motion to tell them he was leaving for a bit, and he needed his appointments rescheduled. "Just find something super comfortable to wear, and I'll be there soon, I promise. I'm making my way to the elevators right now."

**Ikuar** Tue Oct 14, 2014 9:31 pm

Abby tried to stay calm because she didn't want to scare him, but she was feeling the tears welling up in her eyes. "O-Okay... I'm going to change now." She managed to walk back to their room, find a comfortable shirt of his, and changed into it with her favorite black leggings. Changing into that wasn't as easy as she hoped it would be. Once she was done she picked up the phone.

"I'm sorry." Abby sighed, deciding to curl up on the couch in the living room. "I didn't want to just call an ambulance..."

**Jayrin** Tue Oct 14, 2014 9:39 pm

"Never apologize for something like that, my Darling." Michael replied without any hesitation. "I want you to come to me when you feel scared, or in pain... or any time. I like for you to come to me." He finally made it to his truck and pulled out of the parking lot, listening to his wife's whimpers over the phone. "Honey, I'll be there in a sec, just try to hang on for me, okay?"

**Ikuar** Tue Oct 14, 2014 9:42 pm

Abby clutched her phone tightly to her ear, "I love you so much..." She was still trying not to cry, or panic. She knew sometimes that babies just chose to come when they wanted to, it wasn't too early... right? She was praying, asking God to give her some relief, to help her to understand what was happening. She wished she had read more books, took more time to learn about her body. But she hadn't, she didn't know what was going on.
"What if I did something wrong?" Abby asked.

**Jayrin** Tue Oct 14, 2014 9:56 pm

"Hey, don't think like that!" Michael chastised, wishing that he was already there, even though they didn't live far from the hospital. "You can't just immediately blame yourself for something like this, Love! It's not your fault, and we don't even know what's going on yet."

**Ikuar** Tue Oct 14, 2014 10:02 pm

"Y-You're right, I'm probably just overreacting! I am a first time mom, after all." Abby gave a light giggle even though she wasn't in a giggling mood. When Michael arrived, Abby slipped on her flip flops and left with basic things that she'd started packing, they didn't have time for anything other than that.

Hours later, Abby was curled up on her side in a hospital bed. Her hair was a mess and her skin was white as a sheet. Labor came and went, though it took hours, she felt emotional at first and then the numbness came next. Nothing appeared on the baby's heart monitor, and she was certain her own heart had stopped during her initial examination. The night before all of that, her baby had died and she didn't even know.

"I thought she was sleeping..." Abby pulled the blankets up over her shoulders. "It was a little weird, but..." She covered her mouth when she felt a sob.
They'd delivered their baby girl, Olivia Abigail Reid, stillborn. "I'm sorry, Michael... I am so sorry."

**Jayrin** Tue Oct 14, 2014 10:12 pm

Michael was laying beside her, his arms wrapped around his beautiful wife. "You have nothing to apologize for, Dear-heart." He kissed her neck as she sobbed, his own nose was stuffy from crying as well. "This wasn't your fault, and I won't allow you to blame yourself for it. You were a good mother; you were. No, you were a wonderful mother, and you took excellent care of yourself, and her. This wasn't anything you could have prevented."

**Ikuar** Tue Oct 14, 2014 10:17 pm

Abby allowed herself to be swallowed in his warm embrace, "I just don't understand why this happened... she was so good, she was kicking really well and she was so wonderful, Michael!" She sobbed into his shirt, "It's just not fair, she was so good..."

Abby had no idea what to do with herself. She knew once she was released she would just pile more work upon herself, she would work for hours and hours designing beautiful things for people. She would cook, bake, and clean all day long just to be busy. That was how she coped, that was what she did to void off the tears and thoughts about scary things that happened. The things that had happened in recent years were scary.
But the sadness over those times didn't even shadow the loss of her daughter. Abby whimpered a little, sniffling muffled by her husband's shirt.
"What do we do now? I don't know what to do."

**Jayrin** Tue Oct 14, 2014 10:24 pm

Her sobs were breaking his heart even more. Michael hugged her tighter, beginning to stroke her hair with his hand. "We... We try again, and we comfort each other." He kissed the top of her head, sniffing a little. "We comfort each other until it doesn't hurt so bad anymore. We can't lose hope... no matter how much it hurts."

**Ikuar** Tue Oct 14, 2014 10:32 pm

Abby nodded a little, bumping her head against his chest. "R-Right... we try again." She eventually fell asleep in his arms, exhausted from her traumatic day.

--

Abby would walk past the room especially put together for Olivia. It was decorated in pinks and purples, very welcoming on sunny days as it was the room that had the best view of the backyard, and the sun hit the window enough to make it a bright place. Michael had no idea how many times Abby would just sit in there, rocking in the chair and holding one of Olivia's tiny outfits.
It had been a while since Abby had gone in there again though. She walked past the door as she did every day on her way to the kitchen. It was shut, and not even Michael would go in. She examined her nails, pretending not to think about it even though she was.

"Maybe a manicure would help..." She thought, sometimes forgetting her fashionable roots. She'd just started to dress in her designer outfits again, and doing her hair up in elaborate styles she found online. Abby hoped that it would help her find herself again, that maybe she could stop being a depressed robot.

Trying again was on her mind, although she had her fears.

**Jayrin** Wed Oct 15, 2014 9:56 am

Anissa knocked on Michael and Abby's door, Mika sitting quietly at her feet. Zachary had dropped her off when she had said that she wanted to help cheer up Abby. She'd never lost a baby before, but as a mother, it wasn't difficult to imagine the heartbreak that would have come of it. She knocked again, listening for footsteps as she stood on their front porch.

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