Re: This Is Why I'm Here... 1

**Ikuar** Thu Jan 20, 2011 12:38 am

I started to apologize but I knew he wouldn't want me to do that so instead I said, "I love you too." but in a quiet and breathless way.

The doctor walked into the room just then with family following.

"We've found a donor and we can take you into surgery within the next hour."

I wanted to cry. They'd found a donor?

"But we should go over the risks..." He started talking about how I had a weak heart and if anything happened asked if I wanted to be resuscitated. I could see the looks on my parents faces, everyone was hoping I wouldn't sign a DNR.

I nodded. I wanted them to try and save me should something go wrong, but I had confidence that it would be okay.

**Jayrin** Thu Jan 20, 2011 12:41 am

I nearly fell to the floor. Relief had washed over me like a flood. Thank you, God. Thank you so much. I gulped past another sob. I couldn't describe my emotions anymore. I was an emotional wreck at that point. I squeezed her hand some though, as though telling myself that she really was there.

**Ikuar** Thu Jan 20, 2011 12:46 am

I watched my mother and father let out huge breaths as though they'd been holding them the whole time. If I signed a DNR that would make everyone upset.

Even if I didn't want to live on tubes and machines the rest of my life, I had a feeling it would all work out.

About an hour later they had me on medicines to get me to sleep on heavier oxygen so I would be okay during the surgery. They were pushing me to the OR and I was saying my temporary farewell's and love you's to Kyle.

I held tight to his hand and tried not to cry. I knew I'd dream of him though and we'd see each other again soon.

**Jayrin** Thu Jan 20, 2011 12:48 am

I gave her a passionate kiss and smoothed her hair again. "See you when you get back." I said with a warm smile, though it was easy to see the worry. "Have wonderful dreams."

**Ikuar** Thu Jan 20, 2011 12:50 am

We arrived at the doors and my hand slipped out of his, I wanted to keep holding it but he couldn't be there with me. I was certain he wouldn't want to see them taking my heart out.

Several hours passed though it felt like a minute and I woke up to a doctor saying my name repeatedly.

**Jayrin** Thu Jan 20, 2011 12:55 am

We sat again, outside of a hospital room. I rubbed my face tiredly. We'd all taken shifts in sleeping an hour or so. It was mom's turn to sleep, currently. We weren't allowed in her room yet, as she was being closely monitored, but we were wishing we were there.

**Ikuar** Thu Jan 20, 2011 12:59 am

"She's awake." I heard the doctor say, the door was a crack open, "You can go see her now if you want to, just try to keep quiet... we're still monitoring her closely and we can't have her getting worked up."

**Jayrin** Thu Jan 20, 2011 1:02 am

I took a deep breath and calmed myself before standing up. I shook my mom a little to wake her and tell her that Rhema was awake. She smiled and said she'd wait until everyone else had gotten to see her first.

And I didn't hesitate in going to see her. I was much calmer this time. "Rhema?" I asked softly, looking at her. There were so many wires monitoring her and so many beeps that I thought she was going to explode or something.

**Ikuar** Thu Jan 20, 2011 1:07 am

I smiled at him and squeezed his hand back weakly, I still felt so tired and a little sore but other than that I felt stronger somehow.

"Good morning...." I whispered.

**Jayrin** Thu Jan 20, 2011 1:09 am

I laughed. "Yeah, morning. It's two AM." I bent over and kissed her forehead. "How do you feel?"

**Ikuar** Thu Jan 20, 2011 1:10 am

"Better..." I replied, "my chest is a little sore... though." It was from the incision most likely.

**Jayrin** Thu Jan 20, 2011 1:17 am

I nodded. "Well, I'm glad it's better. What did you dream about? I hear anesthetisia gives the best dreams."

**Ikuar** Thu Jan 20, 2011 1:18 am

"I dreamed we had a beautiful wedding... and then I dreamed of a little girl, she had your eyes and she was so small..." I caressed his cheek, "She was pretty."

**Jayrin** Thu Jan 20, 2011 1:28 am

I grinned. "Sounds like a wonderful dream..." I gazed lovingly at her. I felt so much better knowing she was safe and okay. I loved her so much.

**Ikuar** Thu Jan 20, 2011 1:29 am

"And we can get married...." I grinned, "We're going to get married really soon." I was trying not to get over excited, my new heart would race and then they would hear it and panic.

**Jayrin** Thu Jan 20, 2011 1:33 am

I nodded. "And that new heart of yours will be put to good use throughout the years of your life." I kissed her hand.

**Ikuar** Thu Jan 20, 2011 1:38 am

"Oh will it now?" I asked with a smirk, he was so cute. <3 "That's good, I want it to be put to good use... to thank the person who gave it to me."

**Jayrin** Thu Jan 20, 2011 1:44 am

"Oh it will... especially the night of the wedding..." I grinned and tapped her nose. "I couldn't help but see you when I found you in the shower. "I can't wait until that's mine." I wouldn't have said that if her parents were there... they were outside the room.

**Ikuar** Thu Jan 20, 2011 1:45 am

"You are so..." I began to laugh softly, "quit thinking of me naked!"

**Jayrin** Thu Jan 20, 2011 1:47 am

I laughed. "It's really hard though! You're really hot..." I shook my head, laughing. "Seriously, you are!"

**Ikuar** Thu Jan 20, 2011 1:48 am

"Why thank you, I bet you are too..." Another smirk. I would soon find out though.

A few days after being released from the hospital wedding plans were being finished. I had so much to do with so little time. Finally the day showed up and I felt so anxious but so excited!

**Jayrin** Thu Jan 20, 2011 1:54 am

I stood nervously at the front of the church. Soon enough, the bridesmaids came. I was shaking so much, I was certain I'd shake apart. I gulped. Lord, help me through this. I'm not sure I'll be able to walk to escort her the way I'm shaking now.

**Ikuar** Thu Jan 20, 2011 2:01 am

I held some beautiful pink and white roses as I walked down the aisle and as soon as I saw him, big tears filled my eyes. I was so afraid before that I wouldn't get to see my wedding day and here I was.

My father gave me a brief kiss and then said that he was giving me away. I wanted to cry some more as I walked up to Kyle and laid my hand in his.

**Jayrin** Thu Jan 20, 2011 2:05 am

I squeezed her hand reassuringly and led her up to the pastor. I looked her in the eyes and smiled warmly. Up to that point, that was the happiest I'd ever been. "I love you." I mouthed softly to her.

**Ikuar** Thu Jan 20, 2011 2:08 am

"I love you most..." I replied via moving my mouth but not saying anything.

After the reception we abandoned everyone and ran away to our apartment before we'd leave in the morning for our honeymoon. I couldn't wait! <33333

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