Re: And he doesn't even know...

**Ikuar** Sat Nov 20, 2010 11:40 pm

"I'm sorry, I'm finally finding happiness outside of the walls I'm used to." I explained softly, "Thank you."

**Jayrin** Sun Nov 21, 2010 3:12 pm

"Anytime. I'll try my hardest to make you happy, and keep you that way."

**Ikuar** Sun Nov 21, 2010 3:19 pm

"But you forget, you don't control my happiness. In the end you choose how your day turns out." I said softly.

**Jayrin** Sun Nov 21, 2010 3:21 pm

"No, but I can definitely influence it." I said, putting my cup on the plate the cherry pie was once placed and stood up with a smile. "Anyway, I gotta get back to work. Since I can't make you happy, please choose to have a happy day." I grabbed her plate and glass along with my own since we were both finished and walked off to take them back to the kitchen and get back to work.

**Ikuar** Sun Nov 21, 2010 3:30 pm

And then I knew he'd taken what I said completely wrong. I sighed in irritation and shot up, "Wait just a second! That's not what I meant!" I shouted.

**Jayrin** Sun Nov 21, 2010 3:34 pm

I turned around and sighed. "Then what did you mean?" I hadn't expected her to shout like that. Neither did the other people around because they were all staring at us.

**Ikuar** Sun Nov 21, 2010 3:36 pm

"I meant you can make me happy but if I'm not happy it's not your fault!" And with that I left, leaving a rather hefty tip because I wasn't really thinking about it.

Then I was gone.

**Jayrin** Sun Nov 21, 2010 3:47 pm

I sighed and walked back into the cafe. I was going to text her and apologize when I remembered that I'd never gotten her phone number. Of course I hadn't. I dropped the dishes in the sink and went back to work. But I never stopped thinking about what she said. "Silly girl." I said softly to myself. "Of course it's my fault if you're unhappy. I'm your boyfriend. I'm supposed to be the one there for you to cheer you up. If you're unhappy, then I wasn't there for you."

**Ikuar** Sun Nov 21, 2010 4:02 pm

I felt really bad for what happened and especially not realizing how badly I had worded things and not seeing the brewing argument ahead of me.

I was feeling miserable as a result and didn't see a car heading for me.

**Jayrin** Sun Nov 21, 2010 4:10 pm

The more a thought about it, the stupider I felt. I should have known what she meant, but I immediately took offense without trying to understand originally. "I'm such an idiot." I was outside again, on another smoke break. The day had started to get better when Karson came, but when she left, it began getting worse.

**Ikuar** Sun Nov 21, 2010 4:17 pm

"Someone call an ambulance!"

I had gotten side swiped and was laying on the sidewalk in shock but not panicking like I thought I would have been. Everyone was talking to me and I could hear but it was hard to breathe and hard to answer.

**Jayrin** Sun Nov 21, 2010 4:34 pm

I heard sirens after a while and watched the 911 parade drive by. I watched the direction they went and it was the same as Karson. But there was nothing wrong with her... right? I watched them turn on the same road Karson usually took. There was no way.

I crushed out my cigarette and decided to follow the emergency vehicles and see where they were actually going. I had an uneasy feeling.

**Ikuar** Sun Nov 21, 2010 4:37 pm

I was laying on a gurney or partially sitting up actually because I'd started coughing up blood. Apparently my lungs weren't in good shape from the hit.

I saw Drew coming around the corner and closed my eyes, he couldn't see me this way but I couldn't hide just by closing my eyes.

**Jayrin** Sun Nov 21, 2010 4:43 pm

I couldn't exactly see who was on the gurney. I peered hard at her, then I went numb. "K-Karson?!" I ran to the gurney, but a couple cops held me back. "No! No, please let me go! That's my girlfriend! That's my girlfriend over there!"

After a minute or two, they let me go and I ran to her side. "Karson? K-Karson, are you okay?" I grabbed her hand quickly, holding it tight in my own.

**Ikuar** Sun Nov 21, 2010 4:45 pm

"I'm fine..." I replied hoarsely and the paramedics seemed to be shaking their heads but I knew I was okay. I knew I'd be fine.

"I'm sorry for wording what I said badly... I thought we were okay..." I couldn't really talk anymore, I was coughing again.

**Jayrin** Sun Nov 21, 2010 4:50 pm

"Stop talking. I was just being stupid is all, I'm sorry." I said softly. The paramedics began wheeling the gurney to the ambulance, and I followed. "I'll try and do better next time."

**Ikuar** Sun Nov 21, 2010 4:52 pm

I barely caught the end of the sentence since his words seemed to be fading out somewhere. I couldn't keep my eyes open and I couldn't breathe.

Was I dying? I felt cold and uncomfortable but more confused than anything.

"Clear!"

I heard a high pitched whine but it seemed so far away.

**Jayrin** Sun Nov 21, 2010 4:54 pm

I let go of her hand just before the paddles touched her. She lurched, and my hand was right back on hers. "Karson... come on, stay with me."

**Ikuar** Sun Nov 21, 2010 5:10 pm

Everything was becoming so far away, even the sounds and my feelings weren't there. The pain was gone for the moment but I could hear the whine again.

But I couldn't wake up after that yet I knew I was not dead.

**Jayrin** Sun Nov 21, 2010 5:19 pm

"Karson! Karson, please wake up!"

"Karson!"

"Karson!!"

--x-

-Five years later-

Another break, another round of cigarettes. I sighed and dropped my head against the cold, metal table. I hated my life.

**Ikuar** Sun Nov 21, 2010 6:13 pm

I had been in a coma for three years when I woke up one morning. I remembered being talked to while I was gone but the voices had gone away after a long time and I suppose people had given up on me. When I woke up it was just after they took me off life support and two years later after a lot of physical therapy I was finally walking.

I went to my favorite coffee shop where I remembered my boyfriend who probably gave up on me as well. There he was, smoking as he had been before.

**Jayrin** Sun Nov 21, 2010 9:42 pm

I pulled me head up and let it drop again. It'd been over three years. I kept telling myself I should go back to the hospital and visit Karson, but if I did, then I'd never get over her and probably nearly get fired again. I had stayed there too much with her, hoping to be there when she woke up.

"I wish I could see her again..."

**Ikuar** Sun Nov 21, 2010 9:47 pm

He obviously didn't see me. Maybe he'd think I was a ghost or something. OnO But I had to walk up to him and see if he moved on and then at least... at least I could let go and cry.

I hadn't meant for that to happen.

"Drew?" I called, my voice sounded funny because my speech hadn't repaired completely yet.

**Jayrin** Sun Nov 21, 2010 9:52 pm

"Hmm?" I looked up, bleary-eyed. I hadn't been the same person for a while. Sure, I could cheer up if you were upset or down... but I wasn't happy anymore. I hadn't been for almost five years now. Or had it already been five years? Whatever.

But when I saw the girl who had called my name, I stared at her... for a very long time.

Then I spoke.

"Miss Karson?"

**Ikuar** Sun Nov 21, 2010 9:55 pm

"It's still Karson." I said tiredly, he had given up on me because I knew at some point he stopped showing up and he stopped caring.

"I just wanted to see if we were done..." I said softly, "My parents told me that you left at some point and I"m sorry it's taken so long... I've been in physical therapy..." Everything was slurred.

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